I thought readers of Kathy's blog may like
to read my eulogy.
A TRIBUTE TO MY WIFE
I will best remember Kathy as a great lover of life. As a highly creative person who made life and family a pleasure. She was positive about every aspect of living. She would always seek to find the positive in anybody or anything and focus on these. Her life was lived beautifully and she was the epitome of femininity, modesty, grace, integrity, honesty and wise counsel.
Today, she would not seek us to magnify her character, accomplishments, talents, personality, beauty nor any other traits however great or admirable they may be, but rather, she would desire us to point to her Maker and her King. For she lived not for herself but for Him who made each of us. And as a teacher of philosophy every corner of her life was examined to magnify Him. This was how she approached her illness. Her illness was first manifest during our three months long service leave in Europe when she developed a slight but persistent cough. In mid-December at Heathrow as we awaited our return flight she had a disturbing fit of coughing, which upon our return was urgently examined and her diagnosis of a rare and nasty form of thyroid cancer already at Stage 4 was determined. Initially she doubted she would survive Christmas and was most hopeful and determined to see the arrival of Sarah’s new baby, which was granted in a very special way with baby Liana arriving just 36 hours before Kathy was called home. She was able to hold and have the new one beside her bed all of Sunday before she died Monday morning. What a beautiful poetic picture that will leave with the family.
After the diagnosis we set up a small desk in her room for quiet peaceful reflection and craft work. She loved to work in there with the sun streaming through the large northerly window and the magpies warbling outside. I would like to read a couple of extracts from a some beautiful reflective journals she kept, based on her reading of Journaling as a Spiritual Practice, which tell more of who she was than any words we could speak.
Reflections on your name
Kathleen Marie Flynn
“From early days I was aware of the ‘leen’ part of my name as my sister Colleen also had ‘leen’. I wondered why our parents gave us ‘leen’ names - I still don’t know why. I also knew my middle name was after my Aunty Marie but my parents pronounced it differently. The way they pronounced it was a popular middle name of the time. I never loved my name as I grew up and preferred Kathy to the full version. In high school I boldly started stating my name as Kathy for class rolls rather than Kathleen. Kathleen was formal - I don’t mind it now. Few called me Kath - Aunty Grace and Don Norris - how old-fashioned I thought. Colleen now calls me Kath (as do some others) and once again I don’t mind at all. Nanna always wrote it K a t h i e - I didn’t mind, that was quite special. So Kathleen, Kathy, Kath, Kathie. Then dad started Kate when I was a teenager - I quite liked the name Kate, but he was the only one calling me that, although John does sometimes, mostly when writing. So there are five different versions of my name. I identify with Kathy and Kathleen the most. I sign Kathleen. It is a nice name and it means pure. Is it more me than my surname? I’ve been Kathy or Kathleen all my life but I have had the surnames Doyle and Flynn. I happily changed when I married - John and I becoming husband and wife, a new family, then our children all having Flynn as a surname. I’ve been a Flynn longer than a Doyle, but my bloodline of Doyle has a strong hold. I can understand Americans keeping their birth name as a middle name. It is an Irish name and that was strongly impressed upon me. We were all given Irish Christian names as well. Even so, although I have interest in Ireland, I love England (most ancestors were English, but that was never emphasised at all as I grew up). Why do I have an English passion rather than Irish? Is there something in the genes? “The love of field and coppice of green and shaded lanes…” If I had a different name would I feel any different? How does it link with my identity? “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” Would I change my surname if I married now? If I were to choose my own name, what would I choose? Does a name need to be meaningful or is it just a label? In the Bible the meaning of the name was important - was it important to my parents? I have a secret name between God and myself. It means ‘blessed” and it is something precious to me. It is like a heavenly name and since I experienced those days close to heaven, it sounds like the name of an angel to me. I am blessed indeed, so the meaning of my secret name is of great importance to me. Blessed. I wouldn’t change my name. It is me. Kathleen Marie Flynn nee Doyle. It is a good name and I like it.”
Through her illness she ministered to the needs of others. She developed a lovely rapport with the late Sheila Parkinson. She spoke to the congregation here about the contentment she felt with her illness because she was in God’s merciful hands. She knew there was meaning in the death of a Christian. During her recent three-week hospitalisation I visited each day and was able to read John Bunyan’s The Pilgrim’s Progress which ministered to her greatly. She found great comfort in it and I would like to read a short passage from the end of the book.
“Then, said he, I am going to my Father’s, and tho’ with great difficulty I am got hither, yet now I do not repent me of all the trouble I have been at to arrive where I am. My sword I give to him that shall succeed me in my pilgrimage, and my courage and skill to him that shall get it. My marks and scars I carry with me, to be a witness for me, that I have fought his battles, who now will be my Rewarder. When the day that he must go hence was come, many accompy’d him to the Riverside, into which as he went, he said, Death where is thy sting? And as he went down deeper, he said Grave where is thy victory? So he passed over, and all the trumpets sounded for him on the other side.”
Her oncologist knew her terrible prognosis and the inevitable course of her disease, but was inspired to write to us describing her as “a delightfully positive, determined, courageous lady who coped remarkably well with a terrible illness. She was clearly sustained by her tremendous religious faith and the family and the church community performed wonderfully caring for her and supporting her. It was a privilege to have known her and to help with her care.”
This is written as a letter to God.
“Blessed I how I see myself. Blessed by you for over 51 years - so much to be thankful for, so much I have enjoyed. Earthly blessings of love of family, gift of marriage, precious children and grandchildren, the beauty of creation to enjoy, an amazing world to travel, skills and talents to use…so much for which I am truly grateful. Now facing this illness the blessings continue. I am blessed through this journey and yet I want the journey and the blessings to continue. I also want to give. I think that is one of the main ‘clarities’ of my future…one of giving to family, friends and community. I hadn’t realised I was part of such a loving community. I thank you so much for assuring me of my heavenly home, it is something I don’t have to worry about. Actually I have few anxieties and those I do have I want to give to you.”
She then quoted a poem by Therese of Lisieux
My life is an instant,
An hour which passes by;
My life is a moment
Which I have no power to stay.
You know, O my God,
That to love you here on earth -
I have only today.
Life will not be the same without her, she was simply the nicest and best friend a man could have.
posted by Kathy at 7:31 pm
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